Each day I see and hold my daughter, the warmer I feel. My Sunny, she emanates a warmth that envelops the more of me as she grows. I feel too that much like what the mighty sun does to my favorite raisin, her magnificence shrinks me, making me smaller as I content myself with living each day for her. Her happiness is mine as well.
I never thought that motherhood is a world beyond what the eyes can see, a responsibility of an awesome level. I see it, literally holding a human being in your hand, molding a character, raising a life, how would this child turn out as an adult? how can I lead her to the perfection that can be, at least nearest to it? A child’s outcome later in life will first and foremost lie in a mother’s hand, a fact that reasonably scares me…maybe I cannot give her the best, I may not even know what is the best.
What makes a stray cat able to raise her kittens? A mother’s instinct! It is God’s gift, His Hand in completing the formation of a human being yet sometimes God’s plan for somebody is to be fulfilled without a mother, His Hand is still aiding this person’s growth, in a differently special mean. I just trust in Him, be led by His guidance through this mother’s instinct and play my role with deep thoughts and feelings, the fear now would go away and I will be… the best mother that I can be, like what any mother would want to be.
(penned December 2005)